So earlier this week a model posted the following in a thread about escorts. A local model, who’s Goth, and who dresses as such on a regular basis. She said…
Also, as for the “would you take an escort running errands, or doing x y or z?” YES! As a woman I rarely go far alone, you can think I’m silly if you want, however I get harassed and followed DAILY.
And honestly, I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around this. I really am. Unfortunately, the thread was locked before I got a chance to reply, so I’m gracing the pages of my blog with my thoughts instead.
In the past month, I can count on one hand the number of times I was harassed. I’ve not been followed. Now, sure, I live in the “super-safe” Chicago suburbs, not the city, and I drive more than I walk.
But even when I worked in the city and commuted in on Metra, I was hardly followed or harassed, and most certainly not on a daily basis. In fact, I can think of one stand-out incident, and that was actually a guy on the train into the city, who I sat next to one day and was nice to, and who suddenly started borderline-stalking me (he wanted to sit with me every day, and tried to walk me to work). I diffused the situation by taking an earlier train in the morning, or, when I was running late, by sitting with a group of women and ignoring him. I’ve not seen or heard from him in over 3 years.
My cousin lives in the city and teaches at a magnet school, and commutes to work via CTA and foot. I’ve never heard her complain about being harassed or followed, and I doubt she’d have had a kid while living in the city if she felt so threatened. She doesn’t bring her husband with her everywhere she goes either, even when she’s with the baby.
This isn’t the first time this model and have I had different experiences. Awhile back she posted complaining about photographers belittling her and pressuring her to do nudes, and telling her she’d never “make it” unless she got naked. At the time, her profile was full of implied nudes, lingerie, bodypaint and a few not-nude-but-risque images. So yea, of course people are going to ask her to shoot nudes or pressure her for it. She obviously isn’t afraid to get nude of bodypaint, or get sexy, or put electrical tape X’s over her nipples and prance around in a thong, so what difference does it make? In the meantime, I rarely get pressured for nudes, because I don’t have photos up that suggest I’d be willing to shoot nudes (or where I’m already nude or nearly so). FWIW though, she’s now shooting nudes.
To this model direct, I suggest that maybe, just maybe you have a problem because the way you dress commands attention. Perhaps, if you’re starting to question your safety on a daily basis, you need to consider making a change, either to your lifestyle or your daily wardrobe. I know it can be a hard thing to do, but IMO, if you’re putting yourself in danger daily, and it’s making you uncomfortable to the point of having to bring someone with you everywhere you go, then perhaps it’s time to just suck it up and make a change.
FWIW, I’ve had issues with 2 photographers in the past 4+ years I’ve been modeling. The first issue was at my first shoot, and I had someone there with me, and the photographer was trying to pressure me into wearing his ex’s lingerie. I left the shoot early. The second was an ongoing thing over AIM and texts, where the photographer wanted to make out, and when turned down, wanted me to take photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. I simply blocked him on AIM and stopped answering his text messages. I’ve not had contact with either photographer since, and will give honest “I had a problem, this is what happened” feedback if asked about them.
Escorts on the other hand, have hit on me, made me feel uncomfortable by giving me the evil eye, and have even rummaged through my stuff at group events. Not cool one bit, and escorts are not allowed at events I host because I don’t want to put others in uncomfortable situations. Especially after a model hired an armed bodyguard for a M&G (not even a shoot, a meet and greet) held at a public place (Portillo’s restaurant, for those familiar with Chicagoland). On a Saturday evening, at 7P. We didn’t even have a private party room. Give me a fucking break!